It is not polite when someone cuts you off, and sometimes individuals do not realize they are doing it. They might have a habit and are not aware of this. This is why it is important to give them grace. When someone interrupts when you are speaking, simply pause, and let them speak.
In psychology, one is technically supposed to correct them and say, “I am speaking, and continue.” This is because at times, people truly do not catch themselves, but will vigilantly be aware of not doing this in the future.
Personally, I interrupt people quite a bit. It is not because I am trying to be rude. I simply have terrible timing of knowing when to jump in thinking a person is done speaking. This is also because I talk really fast, and I assume everyone else around me speak over 150 words per minute as I do.
It is said to give a grace period of 30 seconds when someone speaks. For instance, if someone is talking and they make a pause, take 30 seconds to make sure they have finished what they are saying. 30 seconds is a long time if you sit there and feel it out.
But depending on the person, they can continue talking, because they think you want them to say more. Some people feel uncomfortable with silence, and want to fill in gaps. The art of fluid conversation is tricky.
Not everybody has it, and tons of people avoid it altogether, because they do not want to deal with having the skills of social development. It is a real issue. People say, “I do not have the energy.” We should create the energy and make the effort. This is why people complain about not having friends, and wanting to click with people immediately. But even those relationships fizzle out, because building rapport takes time and effort to foster. Taking the time to get to know someone properly is how we build a relationship.
The next time you chat with someone, and you are not sure when they are finished, wait 30 seconds. Try it out. No matter what happens, it will build a conversation, and the other person can tell you are actively listening. People love feeling like they are captivating and having the attention of others. Make your dialogue partner feel like they are the only person in the room, and let them speak when they interrupt you.
It only takes one person to change your life. Lead with the example of being a great listener, and in the moment socializing with others.
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I’m Gia G. Dixon, an etiquette consultant certified under Royal Charter of King Charles III. Here is my guide to elegant style, high quality living, and little things that make your daily life glamorous.
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