Emotional control is taking power others are trying to have over you by not letting yourself react to what others do or say. Sometimes people try to get a rise out of you. It is important to know your triggers. Know what upsets you and understand what are the things that make you upset.
The only other person who can hurt you by attacking these areas of conversation have to know you very well, which is why those who want to hurt you are people who are close that are only upset themselves. People who really have that level of intimacy and privilege of being this close to you are going through something. Understanding who the pain is coming from first will let you see the bigger picture that this attack is on you is not about you.
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Once you realize this situation is not about you, then you can take six seconds to breathe, not react and get yourself together. It’s much easier said than done, but takes practice. Once you get into the habit of pausing first, before reacting, you can handle anything. You need that moment to think.
If someone is still trying to get a reaction out of you, walk away. You can remove yourself from the situation any time. My dad always said growing up, “Just walk away.” You do not need to be in a situation that is no longer serving you. Nobody is forcing you. If the other person is still trying to get you to take part of this toxic cycle, simply state, ‘You threw my reaction out the window when you attacked me. You don’t deserve my reaction.’ Because that’s the truth. That person needs to calm down and think clearly first.
Channel that energy into something positive. Fuel it into writing in your journal – all the things you’re grateful for, cooking a fabulous meal, organising your home, setting up your outfit for your next outing. Anything that makes you look forward to your bright future.
Remember: you are classy and elegant. Classy and elegant people do not call others out and stay in a repetitive, overwrought process of arguing. You are a positive person who smiles and moves on with their life when someone is attacking them, because it simply does not affect you. You do not let it affect you, because it is not about you.
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