We have all seen that person and immediately marked them as rude.
Some people might see an individual on their phone at a party or social get together who is not making an effort to connect with others. Whether they are alone, and they use it as a shield, or they are with people and are dividing their attention, we can never be fully certain.
The point is we have to come from a place of empathy and understand that this person might have been expecting a text or call and needed to check it whether they were at a gathering or not. Or they could be a person who is deathly afraid of being surrounded in a room of people, because they struggle with social anxiety. We cannot judge them as we never know someone’s situation.
If you are expecting a call or message, be sure to alert the host or hostess beforehand if the party is small and one person leaving would be integral in the shift of the dynamic of the room. On the other hand, if the get together is on the larger side, simply excuse yourself to a separate room where you can have some privacy. Checking your phone should never be a scene and taking a call should be a one-on-one private moment between you and the other person.
When receiving calls in public surrounded by a crowd of people, ask to call the person back if it is not urgent, or speak very quietly to yourself. Your conversation is nobody’s business.
Perhaps you find yourself at a party and see someone else on their phone. If someone is at a party, and has to pull out their phone in a crowd of people, or is constantly checking their device, it is most likely that that person is feeling isolated.
Break the ice by offering them a drink and asking how they know the host or hostess. Create a new friend you can include into the rest of the party, and be the glue to connect them to everyone else. This stands even if you do not know anyone else. You can all be individuals who attended the party separately together.
Making people feel loved, included, and comfortable is the heart of etiquette. This is something that continuously moves me when I meet someone who intrinsically understands what it means to communicate in a way that makes people feel at ease in such a short amount of time.
Being social is definitely a practiced skill like confidence. Some do have the natural talent for talking with people and get a high off of it. But for those who are like me, who it takes a bit more energy, I always find that putting in the effort is worth it. Humans were meant to socialize and all these chemicals in my brain afterward never regret a social interaction. You never know who you will meet, and who you can help.
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