People are not going to feel bad for me in this post. I don’t expect them to. Nor do I expect anyone to read this. This is my blog and I feel like this needs to be iterated in some form, because I’m losing my mind. This is for me.
I have to do half a month’s worth of work within a week and I cannot have any distractions.
Four nights in a row I have had so many commitments. Overwhelm, stress and frustration of not being able to work is setting me back to the point that my emotional control is out the window. Only to my husband though. I desperately need to be in monk mode with nobody bothering me.
My pet peeve is when people get into my business and try to help me, because it always backfires.
Husband does the laundry, but leaves my prized pair of jeans out of the load, because they’re white. He puts them on top of the machine to wash later. They sit on top of the washer with blood and puss stains soaked in for a week, because he forgets. If he left it in my office where I regularly keep my clothes for me to see, I would have washed it myself and handled it properly.
“Gia, you should be grateful.”
I like things done a certain way and now my only favourite — and also most expensive — jeans are now destroyed permanently. It’s not just that I like things done a certain way. It’s a chore to let other people into my business. It’s 58 minutes gone of me explaining how things need to be done and I am perfectly fine doing it on my own, so do not bother. It’s less encumbrance on my counterpart.
I am definitely not grateful when
- all of my freshly washed clothes are sitting completely wrinkled in a laundry bag, because the person who washed them did not lay them out flat immediately to not let them crease. This is something I always do to avoid having to steam everything and putting the clothes through more wear and strain.
- someone costs me $200+ for having ruined my favourite pair of denim trousers that I can never wear again. More or less sell to get rid of or make any modicum of that resell value back.
- someone doesn’t listen to me. I told them not to do it in the first place, because I will get around to it that day to avoid all of the stress I already know they will cause.
Attention from me is not something you’ll regularly hear me asking for from loved ones.
Calls and texts are not an occurrence. I do not visit or consume social media. Though, when I call nobody answers. When I text and need a status update asap, no response. People keep sending me social media posts to remark on, but it creates more work for me to communicate where I don’t need to.
Everyone else’s priorities are mixed up.
I wake up at 5:30 am while others in bed until 9:30 saying they plan to wake up early. I want to open the curtains and get to work. When I walk into the room to call a family member’s name, they do not look up. When I have created designated time to spend with them and we have gone through all the efforts of scheduling and experience their countenance, their faces are in their phones. Who do you think you are to entitle yourself to another’s time. To waste something I deem precious. Because I actually get things done when it comes to using my time.
We all have the same 24 hours a day, but somehow I still manage to
- Cook family meals for 8 days
- Work out daily
- Work on clients’ projects 8 hours a day
- Do a quarter’s worth of my own work 4 hours a day
- Clean the whole house
- Organise trips and outfits for upcoming events
- Trim my cat’s claws
- Dye my hair, do my makeup and dress up
- Finish a book
- Steam my clothes
- Go to my private fencing and ice skating classes
- Pack parcels to send out and so on
“Gia, how do you manage to do get X,Y, and Z done?”
I don’t watch Netflix. I don’t drink. I don’t sit on my phone. When you’re asleep, I’ve been up for hours having made two macchiati, feeding the cat, cleaning after the cat, getting the food out of the fridge to prep for the day, writing birthday cards for friends, answering emails, editing 3 videos, and steaming my outfits to film in and more outfits to wear for dinner tonight.
After you leave for work, I work out, meditate outside in the backyard’s sun and fresh air. Shower, hair, makeup, teeth, dress up, film, laundry, work on client’s projects without a break, have some tea, work on my projects without a break, and then run errands and take care of the family.
When you’re asleep, I’m working.
When you’re at work, I’m working. When you’re come home from work to rest after I serve you dinner, I’m working. When you are in bed, I’m working. When I rest, I’m still working. When I sleep I dream of spreadsheets, clients, strategize, and better my work.
Somehow I’m entitled to do more work, because a family member walks into my room at 11pm to ask me to do more work to help their business.
I should charge by the minute. I don’t. I charge by the hour. But should charge double after certain hours. Kind of like how nine to fivers charge double on holidays.
“It’s family you’re not supposed to charge.”
I used to not charge family, but they never appreciated what I did. They didn’t even understand what I did. All they knew was they were getting more clients and making more money in ways they didn’t know they could. Still ungrateful though.
When I did start charging, they took me even less seriously. But paid more attention. I create a spread sheet of everything I do. You’re technically supposed to show them the results first of all the finished work, then the invoice. But I send them a link that makes them look turn their head to the side as if the words and numbers were written in Kanji.
How do I get everything done?
I make time for it. And only those things. I say no to your dinner with your friends, because they drink too much late into the night and try to convince me that I’m crazy for not touching expensive champagne.
“Have you seen this on Netflix?”
“Yes I did,” I said recalling how I put it on double speed in the background as I did grunt work that didn’t require much brain power.
“Did you hear about this news?”
“Yes, I can’t believe how…”, I sang as I remembered how horrible it was hearing it the first time as I was doing my hair and makeup.
“Have you heard of Doctor..?”
“Yes, I’ve read all their books and essays,” I replied as a memory of having the audiobook on speaker play over the sounds of simmering as I seared fish.
Your spend $400 on DVD courses to watch, but instead you’re watching a sitcom.
When you do watch the DVD courses, you slump over on the couch to sleep the minute it starts. I turn off the TV and the cat follows me into my office where the action happens. It’s your money. It doesn’t bother me how you spend it. But it does bother me that you are slowly going deaf and I have to hear what sounds like a battlefield as I try to record an explanation of social graces for a client in my office in the other room.
Life is not meant to be easy.
Who said it’s supposed to? The truth is I like it. The challenge. I love working. I love doing things I hate. I do them with a smile. A positive attitude. And then kick them out when I need my space. Because I desperately need that recovery time. You don’t think you take all my energy, because I willingly give it.
You’re supposed to spend time with your family. You’re supposed to have work life balance. I do. There is nothing easy about it. I never feel like I am missing anything important.
A financial advisor mentioned how his older wealthy clients never regretted doing more work, but wished they spent more time with the ones they love.
Last night was my four year anniversary with my husband. I cleared the day after a big project was finished early in the morning. It was a stressful morning driving all over town, being turnt down by an investor, bumps in the road with trying to reschedule flights. I smiled at my husband and said, “I always get caught up in the little stresses of the day. Then we have a nice dinner for our anniversary and I remember the important things.”
What is something you are doing for your loved ones today?
I’d love to know more in the comments below.
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