There’s an actual way to complain. I do not follow any formal guidelines, and reading the room is important. Everyone prefers to be around someone with a sense of humour who is lightweight about any subject. That person who is always positive, and nothing gets in their way.

The way I like to do it is by being self deprecating. If I have a problem, it’s usually in response to something or someone else to be relatable to other people.

For example, if someone mentions a controversial and uncomfortable thing in the news, I admit something silly about myself that’s related to it. 

If you can see someone squirming or feeling uncomfortable about not being the best at something, or sharing an insecurity, normalise their feelings by saying it happens to the best of us. Specifically you. ‘I had to deal with a bad hair day all week long until I could schedule an appointment!’ 

You are constantly uplifting people, sharing the misery to laugh at. Not to genuinely be a downer. It distances and alienates people when you show them their complaints are not something usual. Adapt to the situation by sharing your complaints about the same issue by making light of it. Being uncomfortable is less uncomfortable when you can laugh about it.

Make light of what might be a heavy situation and it also becomes a burden lifted off of you, because you shared it. When you find other people laughing at it,  you will see it’s not that serious and you can move on with your life. Commit to your discomforts and those of others by laughing. It is infectious, making other laugh too, even when they do not initially think it is funny. They appreciate what you laugh at, because people want to be on the same wavelength.

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