Here are some tips for working out as a woman who doesn’t want to be noticed when working out in public:
- Take all women’s classes. These are so much more fun.
- Go to a women-only gym. Jewish areas have tons of these.
- Workout at home. I do this almost everyday.
- Go to designated workout studios versus gyms, i.e. pilates, dance, or barre classes. These are more fun in the back with a friend.
- Cover up a bit more! It is really easy. Look to Kate Middleton for inspiration.
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There have been several videos posted online of women going viral for men staring at them when working out at the gym. If you press a fitness tag and scroll on any social media, you will find trends of woman after woman wearing painted on clothes, midriff baring, and twerking in front of workout mirrors. It is ironic, because the women complaining about the male gaze calling men feral are OnlyFans creators. I have nothing against them. It is simply ironic.
Some videos are silly and girls having fun pumping iron in a session together, which is perfectly fine. Other times, it makes me think of several occasions where I was in a bad neighborhood with a gun pointed to my head past midnight. I deliberately put myself in an obvious situation where I had a high chance of experiencing something negative.
A friend of mine was telling me how she and her acquaintance were walking down the street briefly, and the acquaintance was complaining about men staring at her. She donned a crop top and second-skin jeans saying that only good looking young men should ogle her – rather than the older and/or creepy unwanted guys.
The problem with this is you are casting net when wanting to be noticed. If you want to be noticed by someone of high value, dress high value. Act high value. Genuinely be high value. Those gentlemen with upstanding character will notice you by your fabulous character and how you carry yourself. Everyone knows you are gorgeous on the outside.
Show off your legs, and parts of your decollétage, but not absolutely everything. There is no need to wear a cutout on your sideboob or underbutt haha. Why?
The truth is: All sorts of men will gawk at you even when you have a baggy shirt on.
It is in their makeup! Their instincts tell them to mate. I have experienced this myself, where I deliberately would wear baggy buttoned up sweaters and straight leg trousers with flats. There was nothing sexy about my look, and I rarely did my makeup back in those days. I still got looks, because that is simply human nature. We protect ourselves as much as we can.
Contemporary feminist – we are currently in the third wave – have face tattoo syndrome. Why are you noticing my face tattoo? Why are you looking at my face tattoo. Something is wrong with you if you notice my face tattoo. Hahaha. I have a body. I am showing it all off, but you are not allowed to look at me.
The two largest feminism tiktoks are run by males. They want you to give up your body for their gain without having to do any work, and that is actually where the patriarchy wins.
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A couple of my favourite bloggers are really noticeable statement dressers in general when it comes to fashion. They themselves stated how when they go to the gym and do not want to be noticed. One of them specifically wears pink day to day. But at the gym, she wears black, long sleeves, and covers up with a sport jacket, because it only makes sense for her to work out in peace.
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There might be women out there arguing that women dress for other women. They do, but leave out the rest of the sentence.
Women dress up for other women to place them on a hierarchy of pairing them with men.
In a study, males and females were put in a room. Men would naturally interact with other men and suss out who the alpha was. If you were not the alpha, you would find the best looking (most symmetrically attractive, strong, and healthy looking of them all) initially, the best character, and good attitude in a leading male. Then, you would befriend him, and have positive immediate impressions from others simply because of your association.
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Women on the other hand would find the most attractive. This could be physically, the way one carries themself, or the way someone is dressed. Then, both parties of male and female push the top attractive individuals together as a couple. My theory is the human race wants its best odds for survival no matter what.
This is also why a supermodel who has a bikini line that is hideous, or wears an unflattering trend is seen as cool. She is attractive, therefore if you wear this – even though it looks awful on you – you are considered attractive. Or at least attractive adjacent. In other words, never fall for trends. Wear what flatters your figure, and does not highlight where you are asymmetrical.
Humans intrinsically deem symmetricality as attractive, because the higher rate of survival in those with good genes, and it is really difficult to achieve in nature. You can learn more in this video:
When women say we dress for other women, the whole story is not there. We dress to find our place in the hierarchy so that others find us attractive. Ultimately, so the most attractive mate finds us on equal scales of balance.
If you are young and experimenting, I am not stopping you. It is important to get it out of your system so you have no regrets looking back, if that is how you feel. There are safe places to do this with other young women who are exploring adventures at the beach, going to dance classes, and having safe fun.
Otherwise, there are plenty of women who never dare, and are just fine the way they are. Having a happy two parent household helps drastically, because the children get the attention they need. But some people want more in their formative years. That is a post for another time. If you have zero idea who to look up to when dressing more elegantly when working out — look at Kate Middleton! Nothing is finer than dressing like an actual princess. Treat yourself like one.
I will post on feminine workouts to not get too bulky, and workouts that are predominantly women, so you feel comfortable and safe during your session. Subscribe to stay notified for that and never miss a post!
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