What it means to be a lady in this day and age hasn’t changed since the 1800s. I have a post here all about it. And in the 1800s were the time that it was only published. This means, these things have been noticed for much longer before then until a lady was allowed to be printed about it legally. The things that make you more attractive as a woman are the same things that make you more ladylike and feminine.
1. Stop wearing so much makeup.
I am talking about a full evening glam look out in the day at your job. It is inappropriate and there is a time and place for everything. You should not have to do a smoky eye at work when you are at a desk. Keep things simple as it is less time for you to get ready in the morning and be taken seriously when you are presenting yourself in a way that is not outrageous.
2. Do the fundamentals: workout, eat right, sleep well.
Working out makes your jawline more defined and you use less makeup to contour. You also feel great about yourself when you are lean and in fit shape to wear anything you like. I am not here to tell you to start working out in an extreme fashion or go on a roller coaster diet. I just want you to simplify your life, find areas where things are not the best and work on them. It also costs less to workout rather than buy a bunch of makeup to cover up what you do not like about yourself. You love yourself better when you love the way you look. You are proud of your work.
3. Cover up.
For those of you who have seen my fashion hauls, you already know I do not dress like a nun haha. I have zero problem with showing your legs and cleavage, but make sure it is within reason and that there is a balance in your outfit. If you show your legs, cover your arms. If you show your neck and chest, cover your legs. You do not need to give everything a way. Just a taste!
4. Talk less, do more.
Keep your money where your mouth is. Stop talking so much explaining your deepest, innermost thoughts. Not everything needs an explanation of why you are late, who you bumped into, and why you are sorry. You become more mysterious when you do not give yourself away. You leave people wanting more, and the weight of your words holds higher value when you only say important things.
5. Speak softly with a breathier voice.
Embody femininity as Marilyn Monroe did in her movies by breathing when you speak. Some singers like to sing from their throat or nose, and forget entirely to breathe when they sing — which is why they might sound odd. But it is well known that breathing when you sing adds more power and sounds better when you do! There was also a survey I read somewhere that men preferred breathy voices, because they were more inviting.
6. Be positive.
Everyone in the world has problems. Nobody wants to take on yours. A lady never complains. If you look at it this way, she is a master with her language and is a strong leader. She does not show signs of weakness by giving in to the negative. She is above that and has the emotional control to rise to any occasion.
7. Never announce you are going to use the bathroom.
Nobody needs the details of what you are doing there. This is why there are so many words for bathroom. It is plain etiquette as the eye can see to stick to the guideline of remaining a mystery. Keep it that way.
8. Take care of your hair.
This is the first thing people subconsciously notice, and it will set the tone for the rest of your day. When you are having a bad hair day, you are in a bad mood for the rest of the day. This goes for men too. Taking care of the basics are important. I was recently asked for a list of the products I use for my hair. I literally used nothing that day except a hairbrush. Sometimes it’s only a matter of spreading the oils!
9. Do not be entitled.
The world does not revolve around you. Do not expect anything ever from anyone, and give no matter what. Always be generous with what you have, but understand the world will not give you anything back. Do not assume that anything is yours or meant for you. It is the number one thing men complain about women, and when we see it in others, we want to run away.
10. Have modern manners and etiquette.
I explain the difference in the video, but what it boils down to is to treat people with kindness no matter whom you are speaking with and wherever you go. Manners are all about treating others with respect and compassion, because everyone wants to be treated well. Sometimes people have zero consideration and stand in the middle of the store with their cart blocking everyone. Those things are absolutely learned and I dive deep with all of these things in my modern lady finishing school course. Sign up here.
If you want a deep dive and full scope what it takes to be a modern lady, sign up now for my modern manners etiquette course and join my finishing school to become the most elegant version of yourself!
Thank you so much for taking time to read the end of this post. I hope you find some inspiration in this and feel free to share with your friends as a free way to help my blog grow. Your support is endlessly appreciated.