How do you know someone is really complimenting you?
The moments that stick with you most are when people say something really specific. Because you know it’s directed to you and only you.
This can go negatively and positively. For instance, someone once told me, “You have fucked up teeth.”
I’ve been told this many times growing up and people would pick on me for this, almost to the level of bullying. My dad went out of his way to get my dentist to fix my teeth multiple times. I hate the dentist. But I’ve been told all the things under the sun about my teeth. It doesn’t affect me anymore, but it’s still annoying haha. It doesn’t come up anymore, because I surround myself with people who don’t care about it.
However, I did remember this forever, because it was something so accurate aimed toward me. Hence it stuck forever and I use this as part of my superpower when complimenting someone!
There’s a difference between flattery and a genuine compliment, that not all people might see right away. The way to weed that is to dissect how vague it is. (Overthinkers anonymous, anybody? haha)
Someone once told me, “You’re beautiful, you’re smart, and funny…blah blah”. This person was basically wasting my time with broad familiarities we all hear in the movies from the 1980s. “You complete me.” But HOW exactly?!
I can talk with you about anything. That’s a huge compliment!
I really like how you handle people in this situation, because I can really see the strong sides of you come out. You really shine when I see you help others in this way.
I noticed you’re your best self when you do x. Seeing you in your element tells me so much about you, and I like it.
The way you move is like X movie star in this movie where she was dancing in this scene!
Your outfit really brings out the party side of you and I haven’t seen her in a while. You deserve to be treated to a good time.
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