I have been in a weird rut. In and out of one actually. The truth is I have been making new friends consistently in the past few weeks from holiday parties, networking events, and just putting myself out into the wild.
The mental health of emotionally grasping that I will most likely not see most of these people again. And the Instagram algorithm is even more conducive to throwing new connections onto the back burner definitely doesn’t help.
The bitter cycle
So much is going on. First, there’s the making a connection with someone who you can immediately see yourself being friends with. Then, there’s the person you’ll be acquaintances with and have not much intention of following up with connecting with them. Finally, there’s the remembering you’re not going to connect with them, because that’s the conclusion you’ve realized at this point since DM-ing them multiple times to no avail.
There are also so many other reasons that posting can be toxic:
- posting just so that certain someone is made sure to see your post
- checking your likes constantly
- checking to see if that certain someone saw the story you just posted
- being disappointed with your analytics from your post you put so much effort into
The list goes on.
How to get out of the rut
1. Make a physical list of written things you are grateful for.
This could be in your journal, on a post-it, on a legal pad, or whiteboard. Make it visible. Remind yourself of it. Put it in a place you are bound to see, or pass by in the home. It could be on the fridge, stuck on your mirror when you are doing your makeup, or on your counter. I even put a little quote by Einstein on a post it and framed it roughly, then hung it where my keys are so I can see it every time I leave or arrive.
It’s important to keep this practice going. Similar to a vision board, you can create a gratitude board every month, even if it’s digital on Canva, and revisit it on your desk, or keep it as your wallpaper on your desktop / screensaver. I personally keep it on my iPhone home screen, since I check my phone so often as it is.
2. Don’t overthink it.
Out of sight out of mind is so simple yet so deliciously genius. Whenever I accidentally bite the inside of my cheek or lip, I immediately remind myself to act like it is not there so it heals really quickly without realizing. Watching the oven bake the cake, instead of walking away and doing something else that keeps you high value makes life so much easier to have a lot to live for.
3. Take action.
You’re taking everything personally and overthinking every little detail that is really just a post that might last for who knows how long. MySpace is dead and we laugh about how seriously we took it.
A high value woman is constantly finding ways to improve her situation, and that includes diving into hobbies, interests that make us a more skilled, developed person, and all the things that basically make us a little bit better than yesterday.
High Caliber Ways To Take Action:
- Clean your home
- Clean your hard drive
- Take up horseback riding, or get in touch with animals
- Do some gardening, take a hike, or anything to get your hands in nature
- meal plan
- Write in your journal
- Focus on a work / home project
- Exercise / some type of sport – skiing, running, fencing, swimming
- go dancing with a new friend, friends you always go dancing with, or with a total stranger
- take that class you always wanted to – yoga, pilates, ballet, tango, a new language, graphic design
- have a self care day at the spa or turn your home into a spa
- contact family you haven’t spoken with in a while
- hang out with your nieces / nephews, or friend’s baby
- read a new book
- find a podcast or youtube channel personality you’re in love with
- work on your business
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