Lube In Your Purse: Is It A Handbag Essential? Dryness During Sex In Your 20s Explained

How to make your sex life better by understanding your monthly cycle

This all depends on the time of the month!

Just as a disclaimer, I am not a health professional, nutritionist, or biologist. This is only from reading many, many books on the subject and human experience. I personally have noticed this and carefully observed it in my life for years only to relay the information to you. If experts want to chime in, I’m more than happy to have your input in the comments below! 

I don’t know what you consider to be a handbag essential or what you keep in your purse. It’s frankly none of my business.

But if you are in the stages of getting intimate with someone, and you guys are spontaneous – I know you adventurous types, I was you! – keep lube in your purse. 

This isn’t just to keep things sexy and smooth, but your partner will thank you for it. It’s so hard to be slick about it sometimes. No pun intended.

Also, if they ask you why you have lube (implying you must sleep around a lot if you’re newly dating), simply answer the short version with something along the lines of, “I wanted to thrill you today.” As if you were planning for sex to happen. It’s just light, fun, sexy, and colorful. Like you!

However, if you’re close with the person, and understand each other on a deeper level (as in you can read each other’s thoughts because you’ve been together for a while), you can tell them this: 

You’re currently in one of your phases of the month where your body doesn’t produce much natural lube. This means mucus or discharge. And these are called “dry days”. This could be 3-4 days into your follicular phase, luteal phase, or even menstrual phase. Surprisingly enough.  

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Whazzat?

Follicular Phase – The phase right after your period that last about 5-6 days. It’s when you’re feeling the lightest, refreshed from a new start after your period.

Luteal Phase – 2 weeks before your period, has 2 parts. The first week is lighter and needs more foreplay to get turned on. It’s a romantic phase. The second week is when you want to focus on hardcore work and get really down to business and super big projects with intense tasks to focus on.

Menstrual – When you’re bleeding and uterus is doing its job, releasing an egg, and cleaning itself, and getting organized for fertility. 

If I mentioned anything incorrectly – these are just very basic, broad details – please leave your expertise in the comments below! I’d love for your input! This is a safe space.

So if there are days when you see just straight up like you blew your nose into your underwear, that’s totally normal. You’re healthy. If it’s too much on the regular, you might have a yeast infection or something. So just go easy on the sugar, carbs, alcohol, and wash yourself daily. 

Oh, and a tablespoon of apple cider vinegar in your herbal tea or with a glass of water. It needs to be diluted or you’ll get a headache and feel nauseous, because it’s so strong. Yeast HATES apple cider vinegar.

But don’t douche. Use a very gentle cleanser when washing on the outside-ish area (aka your vulva). Your vagina will clean itself. And usually if you have a period it flushes it out. And take some probiotics to support that if you can. I have some really good ones linked below you can choose from that work for me personally when I’m dealing with such things. You’re normal, you’re healthy, and I love you. 

This should be more mainstream info, because feminine energy and female cycles aren’t even on regular calendars. And if more women knew this, they’d tell their daughters and sons about it, and the world would be more accepting and run more smoothly. Hopefully, it would be a more understanding world. But a lot of women just don’t know, so they’re not teaching it, and the daughters have to figure it out the hard way. Sometimes by destroying relationships, having a hard time at school or work. 

Women weren’t allowed to be fully tested on, because those tests took too long for results and it’s too expensive to wait a whole month to figure out if some medications or whatever it may be would work for them. So a lot of things are tested on males and menopausal women who have male cycles and schedules, basically.

They only started properly testing on women of fertile ages IN THE 80’S. It blows my mind. People still remember the 80s when people have been existing for multiple millennia. That’s science for you. Very inclusive to the half of the population who has been living on this earth, feeding and raising your fucking children.

Any experts, leave a comment below if you have any input or questions. You’re more than welcome to.

I know everybody’s cycle looks different. It’s absolutely individual and case by case, because mine looks different from yours. I remember I dated a guy a thousand years ago who wanted to keep tabs of my period, because he was my long time partner and only wanted to be intimate when I was free of the red river. Which is totally fine. 🙂

He would say, “Every 28 days I have to remember your bitch Aunt Flow is in town.” Lol. At the time I didn’t know. And my cycle varies from 30-35 days if I’m consistent with maintaining a healthy system through each phase of the cycle. 35 days is the line where it could be unhealthy. My cycle is just within the line.

This is dictated by my sleep, eating enough nutrients and enough at all (because I used to be severely anorexic), hydration, and exercise. 

I hope this helps you understand your body and where your mind is during certain times of the month. If you have any questions or comments, please leave them below. As I love hearing from you!

🙏May you have clear skin and a relaxing day. 💋Happy Sunday! 💕

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